Day to day life is turning out to be an extremely boring chain of uneventful experiences.

I'm terrified of my life never being anything but un-extraordinary.
Day after day, just living to live.
Breathing because it's necessary, eating because you can't survive otherwise.

I want to live the kind of life where, when I'm 85 and dying, I can look back and truly be awed at my existance.
I want to see the world and fall in love and fight for what I believe in.
I want to feel alive.
I want to do things that terrify me.
I want to touch people's lives.

I want to be happy.
When I'm sad or angry, I want to feel it deep in my bones; it can't be something I push away. I need to embrace it and accept it and learn from it.

I want to love so much that it hurts; the kind of love Romeo and Juliet fought for. The kind of love Tristan and Isolde had. The kind Cathy and Heathcliff felt.

I want my life to be full and rich and breathtaking. I want everyday to be an adventure of it's own. I want to truly feel what God intended for me to experience in this world.

I'm terrified of my life being un-extraordinary. I'm terrified of never getting over my addictions. I'm terrified of never changing for the better and missing out on an opportunity that would have changed my life forever.

My life needs to be extraordinary, but I wouldn't even know where to start.